Take the full and correct name of someone who’s harmed you. Go to a Catholic church, give the priest a small donation, give him the name, and tell him that it’s the name of a dear loved one who has recently passed away and you’d like to have their name included in prayers for the newly deceased.
On Sunday, an entire church will affirm your enemy’s death.
Gentler version:
Do the same as above, but rather than saying they have passed away, say that they are very, very ill. Think of the harm they have done you as a sign of their illness when you do so.
On Sunday, the whole congregation will think of your enemy as being broken, sick, and in need of healing from their behavior.
I would like to take this moment to thank John Mulaney for forever giving us “that’s what I thought you’d say you dumb fucking horse” as a way to react to literally every noise that comes out of trump’s mouth
One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.
And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”
He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.
during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard
